Mark Goulston, part of the Greenlight Research Group, has the perfect recipe
for expressing your gratitude – what he calls “the Power Thank You” in
his practical, insightful new book, Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting
Through to Absolutely Anyone.
His favorite version of the Power Thank You was inspired by Heidi Wall, the co-founder of the Flash Forward Institute here in LA. It has three steps:
- Thank the person for something specific that he or she did for you.
(It can also be something the person refrained from doing that would have
- Acknowledge the effort it took for the person to help you by saying
something like: “I know you didn’t have to do _______” or “I
know you went out of your way to do_______.”
- Tell the person the difference that his or her act personally made to
Mark writes, “If a person performs an extraordinary effor or assistance and all you say is ‘thanks,’ you create a mirror neuron receptor gap because emotionally you’re not giving back as much as you received. Saying "thanks" is better than nothing, but it’s
not necessarily good enough .
The Power Thank You helps you, too: “It doesn’t just make the other person look good,” Mark writes. “It also makes you look good to everyone involved by showing that you have good emotional intelligence and that you care. It also shows that you can be trusted to give credit where it’s due—something
that can win you important allies in a corporate world where people too often
get burned by disloyalty.”
Take the time to use the Power Thank You every day!